The Sphinx’s missing nose

Yeah. I’ve been to the pyramids. That’s on everybody’s to do list, and I’m going to try not to brag about it. So, let’s see. First, I scrambled around the pyramid of Khafre until the guards sort of yelled. Pyramids are good to climb on. They’re also, frankly, awe-inspiringly imposing  Unfortunately certain ****tarded tourists find it cool (or funny, or whatever) to scrawl their names on thousands-of-years-old Egyptian ruins. Cool. Nice handwriting, *******.

Then we went inside Khufu’s pyramid. The one belonging to Khafre (Khufu’s son) is the only pyramid left with any of the famously smooth, gleaming limestone. It was a very long, poky shaft that went up at about a 25° angle, made humid (and probably weathered) by the breath of tourists. Then we got to the burial chamber. Nice and space-y, and a high ceiling too. And because of the shade (strip-lit, naturally) it was cool too.

Then there’s the Sphinx. Large, monolithic and utterly nose-free, the half-lion half-man depicts the chosen form of the god Harmachis (god of the rising sun, I thinx) when he went to destroy the forces of Set the Evil One. Unfortunately, it seems to be decaying internally and a series of dodgy ‘reconstruction’ efforts (hence the shiny new -and tiled, which screws up the fact that it’s carved from a single piece of bedrock- paws) have only sped up the process.

Howzat for a blog post?

Nana nana naa na 1: Sinai Desert

Nana nana naa nah, I got to go to the desert. That’s right, I’m doing a post devoted to crowing about my experiences in the Sinai desert. Well, not just crowing. It’s about what I did and stuff like that.

So, on day one we mainly just ran around on sand dunes. Should you find yourself on a good big dune, I would advise you to roll or run (check for rocks first, mind) all the way down. Should you have a slide-y piece of material big enough and shaped right, then it may well be intended to be a dune-board (or toboggan).

Day two? Well, we went to a well. And Mohamed splashed me. Oh, and we (mum excluded) climbed a rock by moonlight.

As for day three… Well…  We went canyoning with the Evil Gnome (Willem, our Dutch friend who came on the trip with us, had the idea) and had lunch at an oasis. BTW, we moved camp every night. I got to stand in the back of our 2wd Hilux while it bounced over sand and stones.

On the last day, we left the Evil Gnome (something Willem had always been planning to do) in a canyon. He liked it there. He could scare people by echoing his evil laugh. We had lunch outside the canyon. Then I had my first driving lesson. I released the clutch too fast, naturally.

After that we went back. I did not drive. So yeah, end of post. Hope you liked it, and I hope it influenced your opinion of deserts.

Good morning Egypt

Hello readers (however small your numbers might be)! I am in… guess… China! Nah, I’m in Egypt. First probable question: “Have you been to see the Pyramids?” Answer: No, and not the Sphinx either. If you really want to know, I’m in Dahab. I think that means gold. Oh yeah, I’ve been quadbiking too. I love quadbiking. I have done for ages. This one was awesome, although I got a bit worried when I found that I’d broken three safety precautions (no under 16s allowed to drive, no riding on public roads and no passengers) at once. Although, as my new friend Steve said, they’d been shipped in from a place where the rules applied to a place where they forgot to remove the stickers.

I’m enjoying Dahab. It’s a really laid-back place. And it’s got internet. That helps. Go ahead and comment now, cos this is the end of the post.

Trolololollll!